Ankh Status

"Unc?" It feels like I've been scrunched up in a sarcophagus for thousands of years

"Walk Like An Egyptian" - The Bangles

An Uncle might be an understatement, even though it's factual. I think we're well past "unc status" here. 27 is the new 5000? "Walk like an Egyptian", not in the way that you'd think. Think more like a mummy - someone that has risen from an incredibly long sleep. Maybe I'll wrap myself in toilet paper this Halloween.

Do the pyramids have elevators? I don't think accessibility was in mind.

"I was bitten by a snake" is one of my go-to "what happened?" stories. But I was not. Snake charmers were often seen as healers in ancient Egypt. So maybe paying one a visit wouldn't be such a bad idea. Without trying to sound like a total dork, despite my HeAlInG aUrA. I don't claim to be a snake charmer. They probably wouldn't be bit anyway.

I think that everyone knows the kind of music that plays in an Egyptian hot desert movie scene. Is there a special kind of music played when someone is dragged along the bottom of the Nile river? I'm certainly not a good swimmer.

I don't think mummification and water would mix well